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Where's There's Smoke.
WOO HOO!
Where's my pot!?
There Shall Be Freedom!
This conversation started because of this incredibly stupid governmental idea right here.
Me: They can have our money...BUT THEY CAN'T HAVE MY PORN!
P: I feel safer having been protected from porn.
Me: I think there should be a porn alert.
Me: "High probability of porn in your area today."
P: Someone should toss some porn at the World Trade Center.
Me: "Oh God. The terrorists have attacked new york by littering it with porn!"
P: You betcha!
Me: Our government makes me cry.
P: Hey, they're focusing on what's important.
Me: Taking away my porn?
Me: NO!
Dreams Answered. Dreams Found
Greatest News Ever.
If you're an Alien geek that is. I saw this and nearly cried. From happiness. Now THAT's a big deal.
My Ideas Aren't The Best
Listening to Sigur Ros when you're mopey and depressed? Bad idea.
Refusing to turn it off? Worse idea.
The Boredom of Change
Seven jobs applied for this morning. I always feel insecure when applying for these things, because I can't sell myself. I have my work to show, but I can't use the big terms businesses like. We'll see. I applied for everything. I almost applied for a web designer at Crate & Barrel until they mentioned having to know java.
And don't even get me started on the whole "Which Masters degree should I get" thing that's been the driving force in my insanity this past weekend.
Sweet Arms Embrace Me
Depression.
Sweet sweet depression.
I can feel it settling in. Finding it's comfort zone. It saw the opening and it walked through the door. I knew it was coming while I was getting the MRI done. I felt lonely. Sitting in there. Laying in there. On the slab. I didn't have someone there with me to sit with me in the waiting room. And I flashed forward to when I'd be wheelchair bound, and I didn't see anyone there with me. I can't even imagine going through this the rest of my life alone. I only survive now because of my small group of friends.
I forgot just how depressed I was when the first episode hit. And I get more depressed realizing my balance my be gone for upwards of three months. Maybe shorter. Maybe longer. Who can say. Who can tell. Not me. That's for sure. I'm fine until noon, and I can sense the problem crawling its way back into my eye. And soon I want to vomit, and go back to bed, and never move again. Never moving again always sounds so nice.
I can't write. I'm about to try, but I wanted to get this out before I started. I wanted to get the "sad" out, because I'm working on the uplifting part of my book. Not the part where the main character can see the rest of his life mapped out for him. And at the end of it is nothing but misery and a shiny wheelchair.
I Know How You Think
Halloween is over. The sadness sets in. I love the time leading up to Halloween. Television slowly starts carrying a ton of horror programming. It's weird though that it's usually the Travel channel that has the most programming. Their "Haunted" programming is some fun times.
We didn't make it through all the movies on Friday. We watched the Buffy episodes, Poltergeist, and about 30 minutes of American Werewolf in London. MF was out before the credits rolled on Werewolf. SR and I turned it off shortly thereafter because we just weren't going to make it.
NP sent me photos of our friend all dressed up in her Final Fantasy costume. I couldn't stop drooling. Not over the Final Fantasy costume, but because she looked amazing. I did feel dirty ogling her, but when you wear THAT little clothing, it can't be helped. I'm trying to convince NP that this girl is my perfect girl. Just trying to get a reaction out of her, since she's very protective of the girl.
But it has been a while since Mike's had a date. So I wouldn't say no.
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