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Jealousy, Your Face Is Green
Homework is finished. Still very very bored.
And I've been dealing with anger issues, because I'm just so very upset someone I know is making money off of someone else's idea. And yeah, it's all been done before, and blah blah blah, but at least the other ideas look better.
That, and just don't think some people deserve to get ahead in life. He was one of them.
So I'm selfish.
Webpage Update: The Invisible Wives now have a message forum.
To The Death!
My mind is torn once the weekend comes. I use to be someone who was constantly busy. Always with people. And I inherently miss that. And yet, I've found myself, not without friends, but without people to surround myself with. And as I said, I miss that. But there's a new part of me that also enjoys the quiet and solitude I find myself in. Aside from occasionaly helping me go a little further insane, it let's me think (sometimes a negative) and just deal with nothing.
The main problem is, I have such little space to myself, that I don't feel like I'm actually alone. And that's become my greatest problem. If I claim to be alone, I need to be completely alone to enjoy the feeling. And that means moving out. And that means money, which I don't actually have.
My friend M mentioned her father is looking for someone to take an one room off his hands, and I may have to look into it. It may be what I need. Now I just need to see if I can afford it.
Ramble Ramble
And while I wait for my friend D to show up, who I haven't seen in a long while, I'm torn between sleeping, writing more of my book, or working on the web page for the Invisible Wives.
I'm drawn to the web page work, because there's less self doubt about putting out quality there. I'm always convinced my book is going to be too short. Too boring. Too much nothing for something good. But I trundle on. I'm going to get it down on paper. It will get published. I will be famous. It can happen.
Oh XM Radio, plays me some Talkin' Heads.
Can't...Stop...Worrying...
It was a bad week of neurotic angry depression. And now that I'm over it, I'm in the "I hope I still have friends. I hope they don't run away from my crazy." phase of it all. I'm always concerned about that. Concerned that I'll lose my friends because the fun me was replaced by crazy neurotic me. It doesn't happen often but it happens.
And with the writing I've been doing on my book, it only makes it worse. Crazy neurotic me appears more often than not now because I tore down these walls I built up, and emotion is flooding back, and it's driving me crazy. But it's also making a better book. At least I hope so.
And since I don't want to become the guy who always apologizes, I just hope that my close friends, the ones who see neurotic me, realize it's a part of me that I don't like showing too much, but don't hate me when it does happen.
This is what happens when boredom sets in, and it's only 2:30 on Saturday afternoon.
I need a dirty girl who help pass my time.
Pasta Go Bye-Bye
Too....much...Noodles & Company. Must. Vomit.
Heh
Sunnydale Sock Puppet Theatre
Bizarre.
Baby Talk
Wow. I just had the craziest conversation with that girl where she grilled me about my unwillingness to have children, and how unhappy it makes her, since she's convinced she's going to marry me. I'm impeding her happiness apparently. Why do people think that their view on life needs to be your view on life, and if it's not......you're just wrong?
I don't get it either.
Creepy Girl, Oh, Creepy Girl
Suns finally returned to the peaceful village. I'm watching Final Destination Two. Such a fun opening death scene.
The girl who always jokes about wanting to marry me, without ever actually having met me, wants to move to Chicago now that she's dumped her boyfriend. "I'm all hers." She proclaims. I shake nervously.
Here We Go...
It's all downhill from here.
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